I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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