Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
