Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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