So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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