fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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