I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How's work?
Spinning.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
