What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Semen is not good for contacts.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
