I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
