Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
