It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
