Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I supernannyed him into submission
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
