k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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