Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
