You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
