he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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