we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
