Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
