There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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