She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My penis needs a shock collar
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
