she looked like the before picture.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize