remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
