Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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