It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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