I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
