There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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