you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
