literally had 100 drinks last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
In America we eat man semen.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
