you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
