my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
