We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
