i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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