he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
