Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
