He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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