spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
