a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
