How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
