If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
When are your genitals available?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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