She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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