I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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