So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
