so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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