I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
