Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
