I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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