when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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