Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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