ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
