I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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