hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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