I just made out with a guy for $7.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
