He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
