Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
