you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
