just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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