It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
