It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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