Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In other news, I just burned my penis
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
