problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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