Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
