I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
