Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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