It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
