How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
