Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
