Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize